Let me make something entirely clear to you: I do not care whether you support this or not.
The reason why I *know* that
are not ‘playing’ this time is that *I* know that *I* am not playing around.
Since *I* am necessarily part of *WE* then I can conclusively move the position of *we* solely by my own action.
This was seen most recently as
…but Tornetta and his friends in big government made the mistake of waking the worst nightmare of their lives.
Here’s why:
I am instituting my new policy of I said NO.
It gets far worse for Tornetta and his friends below this section, but since this is the section most relevant to YOU, my normally sensible Tesla shareholders, I leave this here and I will expound on what happens to Tornetta afterward.
The I said NO policy specifically applies when any sort of inane situation like this happens which can somehow magically manifest itself to create problems for the person who is most directly responsible for dragging us collectively out of the gutter.
There are various stages of the I said NO policy, but the final one — the one you might as well hang your hat on — is that I will commit suicide legally by lethal injection [i.e. Batavia Police Department the perimeter previously established still holds: stay the fuck off my property] in Switzerland on December 31st of any given year that the policy is violated.
Clearly I don’t want to die but it is my assessment that I have at least enough of the power of God behind me that none of you will bother to test this. Particularly when the first step of the I said NO policy in this case involves
- a series of votes by Tesla shareholders ensuring that Mr. Musk is compensated exactly as it was previously prescribed.
Since we know that the money eventually/ultimately comes from the shareholders, I am calling for those shareholders to, as their very first order of business, supply themselves as guarantors of Elon’s original compensation package.
We will assume that the actual value of Tesla stock is minimally $222.22 and since the value of the compensation package was (is) $55.8B that’s
251,102,511 shares of 3,176,000,000 outstanding shares that are due Mr. Musk.
This means that I am expecting each of you to pledge 8% of your shares as guarantors of his pay until 250 million shares are placed immobile and in a trust such that Elon can play with them however he likes.
Since I am well aware that the vast majority of Tesla shareholders wish to do what’s right and that more than 80% of those shareholders voted on this already the only thing which remains is for all of them to sign their names to the bottom of this document, each with the number of shares they are pledging in this fashion.
We will launch this at 4:20am EST and have a first update at 4:20am CST (Elon time).
This will be the general policy as I institute some needed changes in Tesla operating procedures.
