In my continuing series on how to tell whether a duck actually is a duck, I’ve devised this ridiculously streamlined piece, tag BFK19330.95556, it is nothing more than a quick series of hacks to show you something you might want to pay closer attention to. Here goes:
Step 1: Hmmm….I wonder what that kid is looking at.
Step 2: Pretend it’s the next image. (The kid would have to be a bit…well, precocious, but…)↓↓↓
Step 3: Compare time BFK19330.58056 to BFK19330.95556, note that this is approximately eight hours’ worth of real time.
Step 4: Turn your attention here↓↓↓
Step 5: Look carefully at this piece ↓↓↓
Now I will give you steps 6, 7, & 8 — but if I gave you more than that you’d probably say something like, “We’re not dummies. We’re not ducking a problem.”
Step 6: Let those last 31 words be equivalent to this guy:
Step 7: Remove the bad guy.
Step 8: Take the following words very seriously because they may be the last warning any of us gets ↓↓↓
You certainly don’t need the next five steps, but I’ll give those too, since my work day still has about 37 minutes in it:
Step 9: A second helping of the caption to the last photo, because it’s such small text that some might not remember to read it:
The thing about a “shot heard ‘round the world” is that you can’t know it IS a shot heard round the world until after SOMEONE else knows it is. This is a peculiar paradox, but I don’t suppose that Gavrilo Princip, John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, James Earl Ray, or Nathuram Godse were *unaware* that they were changing the world by what they did.
Step 10: Look here ↓↓↓
Step 11: Double check
Step 12: Make sure you don’t fall into trap #8,000,000 minus 1, a.k.a. the ‘paranoid delusion’ trap
Step 13: Remember your Dunning-Kruger & your Obi Wan Kenobi:
Step 14: You knew it had to be #14, right?
Tomorrow is a day off, as clearly specified to me by this character:
Sorry guys. None of this:
Hey, if anyone can get ahold of Brian Thompson:
Can you ask him if he remembers signing this car:
…one last little bit of gloating and then you guys can all try to scratch your heads long enough to figure out how to explain how I’m not the “smartest” in the room.
Yeah, you see how I did that? I never claimed to be the smartest.
I just said that YOU sure as hell couldn’t prove that I’m not.
Work day is done in ten minutes. Wonder what I do with next week, now that I’ve conclusively proven that your “advanced AI systems” aren’t worth
I don’t have to come to you paper champions, and I know darned good and well what Apollo said:
“A lot of people are going to be owing you an engraved apology after this one is over.”
AND who he was:
Sorry folks, we’re out of time.
Hope the guys at OpenAI get to see what they unleashed before it gobbles up their headquarters.
As is customary…
As with all my pieces, I wish you would please do me the respect of — if you’re going to clap — clap once and once only. If you decide you wish to respect that rule, I’ve no doubt you can also respect the rule of only clapping if you’ve placed 100 of your own words in the comments.
I feel as though others may appreciate this [i.e., this method of counting] and so — unless you have a reasonably-well-thought-out reason for clapping in a manner which doesn’t adhere to the same behavior set people silently agree to on a golf course or tennis court, please clap only once if you’re going to clap at all.
