Intuition test.

California! Everybody’s favorite EV state!
OMG! It’s so pretty! It’s also $64,965, but hey, you’re a big shot and you need the graphics package, towing, and 4WD.

…it’s a Tesla!

The Bolt wins by a comfortable margin. Thankfully, grandma bailed you out every Christmas with a nice crisp Benjamin, which you stowed away immediately. In your gas tank. With her help (and a few extra shifts in the electronics department at the Torrance Walmart) you made out okay anyway. Had you chosen a 2018 Bolt, you’d be eyeing that new 2033 Performance Edition Model 3 by now. Tisk! Tisk!
…because I knew you’d object to the power rate.
Holy smokes did you ever get HAMMERED on that one! Should have stuck it out with the high school math, eh? Meanwhile, the guy who picked the 2018 Leaf got hammered, too. Of course that was only because he took a month long vacation to Cabo to spend half of his $114,544.84 savings on a wedding to the Prom Queen and one hell of a party. He’s in the bathroom puking now. As I imagine you are, too…
Of COURSE it’s less expensive! And because you knew that, you saved enough for that Master bathroom remodel you’ve been promising your wife for the last fifteen years. You don’t have to hear about the shoes, the shoes, the shoes anymore! You basically saved your hearing. Twice! And the hassle of stopping for gas every three days. AND those damned oil changes…
You lose AGAIN. But this time you lost royally. Not only did you fail to buy the less expensive top of line Tesla Model X P100D *(plus $800 trailer so you that you wouldn’t have to dirty up your pristine white vegan leather interior with your tools) but you totally missed out on Ludicrous mode because you wanted the “off road” special that you’re never once going to take off road. On the other hand, you DID save a couple bucks up front on the Raptor (with Rhino Liner for just $470!) The chicks don’t dig you as much (you know, it’s that California granola/frappucino/yoga pants/Tesla thing…) but you’re after the tattooed, husky-voiced, loud-and-obnoxious chainsmoker type anyway, right?
Oh no! Mercedes-Benz isn’t making diesel vehicles for the U.S. anymore!
At this point I know you’re probably tearing up. How could you have been so stupid? The only consolation I can offer is that LOTS of people rely on intuition where math would probably…um…work better. I mean, it was reasonable enough to think that if you bought a combustion car for ONE FIFTH of the price of the “comparable” electric, you’d HAVE TO save money. Certainly not that you’d wind up over a hundred grand in the hole for having done so. I mean hell, even the insurance was half as much — and 26 mpg isn’t that horrible. In fact it’s above the new car fleet average for 2018. Glad you learned the lesson on a ‘simple’ internet test, aren’t you? [BTW…where that reads “Gas/gallon” it should read “Diesel/gallon” late correction.]
The same? Yeah, NO. In no universe are they ‘about the same.’ I mean, from a side view, they actually look pretty similar…185" x 75" x 57" and 183" x 73" x 58" (for bonus points I dare you to tell me which of those dimensions applies to which car.) But the point, of course, is that if you somehow think that getting $25/month cheaper insurance, a $17,365 cheaper car that gets “pretty good” gas mileage (and hey, it’s a Volvo — Volvos are good, and built to last…) you think you’re not going to get murdered at the pump… …well, put it this way, it’s a good thing Las Vegas is nearby.
Adapted from: http://calvinandhobbes.wikia.com/wiki/Moe
Yes, surely I’m going to do that. Because I opted against stopping every few days at the petrol station. I plug in at home. I also have 5% of the buttons to fiddle with…because I enjoy the experience of driving, not fiddling with knobs.
Must be an awfully powerful engine to make it to 60 in just over twice as long as it takes the Model 3 we’re comparing. But the diesel Bimmer is cheaper to operate, right? We’re gonna save some serious money with 43 mpg and it’s so LUXURIOUS!
Oh no! That didn’t work out so well. (Get it, so “well” ?)
Yes, this is probably not vegan friendly either, but neither is your diesel chugger. Care to know how many animals died when the Valdez struck a…well, hey, what did it strike, anyhow? All we can remember at this point was that the captain was driving drunk and…
Ah, there it is! Thanks, Google! Of course you DO have to know what to look for, and since you’ve been watching “America’s Got Talent”…
What good is making ice cream in your Performance Model 3 if you can’t store it and take it around the neighborhood?
I know you’re going to object based on the present value of money, but this is an investment in THE KIDS, remember?
At this rate, I’ll be able to buy 345,797 door knockers to advertise my fledgling ice cream business! I wonder if VistaPrint will give me a deal for ordering in volume…
OK, so it’s “only” the dual motor AWD version, but I guess you‘ll have to suffer through it. You’re planning to install solar (someday…) in which case your power price will drop even further. For now, you charge up for free at work because…you can! Wait, what’s that you say? You assumed the Prius would be cheaper and you bought it without even doing the math? Ah well. You didn’t run that far over budget by doing so. And the Prius is a pretty good car <giggle.>

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