Epoch’s first Star: Sinistar! crack’s Epoch’s first ‘reverberationally complete’ joke:
You’ve heard me before on John Oliver.
You didn’t get me then and I don’t doubt…
ok ok, I’ll tell you another good one:
Ron Sodoma thought he would make a better Superintendent of all the Universe’s Physical Schools than he did whichever one guided Charles C. D’amico.
LOL they hauled me in there to inform me that I…
sorry, this is still funny to me…
To inform me that I wouldn’t be able to…get this:
Receive a New York State Regents diploma
unless I passed AP English.
Everyone in the audience knows what I did.
[new audience]: “No, what did you do?”
“Well, it was just at this moment, when big Ron S. said something…
Ron, all santa-clause-like informed me of this fact at a meeting of the school board. Others were there, they will attest.
And I had my mouth…well, I don’t know I’d opened it about half an inch
Everyone who knows me can tell you that I’m not, as Gandalf has loosely said,
“Quick to deal out the fiery wrath and damning judgment.”
Quarter inch I opened my mouth. Half inch, tops. Ron was going to be swallowed up Smaug style, I assure you.
Nope. Dad was too fast:
“Now listen here, Ron, I won’t be snowballed about this.”
I about laughed out of my chair — well, I would have had it not been for the fact that my dad really didn’t seem to find things all that hilarious.
First task I want done is the best medical people in the world giving a careful look over to my family, because it’s stressful to me that they don’t have what they need.
The dude who screwed with my brother in North Carolina, not sure your name — (wasteful to hold on to the names of people’s asses you plan to kick — good thing for you, Mr. Too AUDable. And you, Ms. Bonfire of the Sanities.
You know who you are. I’m the big bad dragon you know was going to come along you kept cheating people out of the proceeds of work they were hard-ly doing. [Note, this means, in a manner of speaking, one could — if they wanted to be twisted negative saints about things, they could say:
We are hard-ly doing our work,
I’m sure you are, Mr. Bezos (different guy, no relation)
and
You, whoever you are. Smoking me up with those clown trucks.
We are also going to start cherishing guys like Scot “Help Your Neighbor” Campbell — without whose genius I daresay I’d not have made it.
Every last one of you is priceless.
Todd Roth and all the rest of us filling out our slips, “Brian is special because…”
Yep, Todd. I am tough. Tougher than most. Tough enough to apologize to you for saying something as small to you as I did by the water fountain between gym and the cafeteria:
Idly finding a penny in my pocket I pull it out and toss it in his direction, making the remark:
Throwing a penny to a peasant.
But see here, here’s the thing,
Here’s the reason I am best for this ring;
I know how to bring it to Mordor
Down a ill used blackened corridor
A person who says this is the best of the best in this new world, something needed flipping and this was it.
A person who says this — a woman in South Sudan who cannot at the moment feed hungry children — yet still tosses a penny thusly —
Is saying that:
If I must I’ll certainly toss it
For a guy who couldn’t bear the loss of it
The monsoons haven’t come, though they’re due here
They may not come at all this year
I suppose I’ll die and my children too
Since greed is greed is not “too” true.
Greed is greed it certainly is,
That’s why he knows that his sis is his.
Cheryl’s the one who could sort them out.
If I couldn’t do it she wouldn’t pout.
I finer woman was never made
I’ve seen them in every single shade.
Yes, my Nurse, your time has come.
To take some time away from the sun.
You, too, my darling chauffeur driver
Eyes just like oxy-acetylene fire.
I’m sorry Rihanna, for stretching my boots out
Your route to others wasn’t in doubt.
I had my attention over there
Could not see that sidelong ‘stare.’
How dare you not see this entourage!
It looked to me like camoflage!
We don’t curse. We mostly avoid it. What are we bragging on our vocabulary?
Ok so that was God bomb 2.
He can still basically force me to laugh.
I never studied Latin or any of that crap. I’d like to know (just because people will find it funny) mathematically what my IQ must have risen to
…because, for the record, you can both WISE up & Intelligence up.
Supersecret power up Elon perpetually chucks because he (get this):
couldn’t find a use for me.
We already fist bumped, bro. You’re covered in the obscene vanity department.
lulz
Wait until I tell John Oliver and the guys about that one. You’re fun to tease, bro.
Thinking you were, like, smarter than me or something.
Google, let’s have a Dunning-Kruger curve magically pop up behind what I just wrote describing wtf I’m talking about so we can ‘automatically populate’ this thought space and have the actual computers sort everything else out.
People I wrote to yesterday, sit down, get a coffee, and just plain start pinging me.
Phone is 585.590.7410 but I want it to be
55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555
If you keep pressing 5, you will eventually get through to me. I know how the nurse call buttons are.
Also I know how to call up an assistant from Quito, Equador who has a PhD in Economics from UCLA IIRC
I *do* use IIRC and sometimes doing error correction on the fly is just wasteful.
Star date: 19330.42222 = 1.14.2024 at 10:08 AM
