With Kirt Wackford DMing, and the inaugural edition of the game of “let’s have fun and play as nicely as we can every day” instead of striving in ANY OTHER DIRECTION….
[JudoSloth: And Kent rolls and gets… <crowd gasps> The Legendary Glasses of Infinite Introspection.
There is only one pair like it, and it is said to be impossible to find. The math apparently proves it is impossible; they know this represents the sort of empirical evidence at which, for the moment, we know that at least ONE of the following must be true:
- God sincerely does refuse to play at dice, and Einstein was being straightforward to some extent, but could perhaps also readily been stating his feelings in a sarcastic sort of way.
[the list continues…]
JudoSloth:
And in the second round Kent finds the next most impossibly important secret; always choosing to use his powers of good for good, and vanquishing forever the idea that the smallest of the small universes could contain both good and bad in equal measure as to ‘equally balance’ it all out…
…Good and evil can’t bothe exist
without a rather peculiar looking list…
wait a second…. is that …yes, it’s a middle. SOMEONE ACTUALLY FOUND THE MIDDLE OF THE UNIVERSE?!!?
How in the ever loving priest would they do that?
They just kept looking. That’s what they said? He “just kept looking.”
How could that be true. You’d need to…well, you’d need to look everywhere, wouldn’t you?
Well yeah but…
…I know, but…
What do you MEAN he just “willed himself to be in very exact middle of the universe” what’s that supposed to mean? Willed himself. Yeah that’s stupid. Willed himself.
He said it was easy? He said that. And the theorists proved he was right?
Mathematicians too?
Where’d they find this guy? Hiding under the radar? How in the heck would a guy like THAT fly under the radar?
Here Bob Marley cries out “Could You Be Loved”
Kent smirks. Told ya. Told ya but you wouldn’t listen.
Lucky he sent the quieter of the three billy goats gruff.
Everyone will need to keep things calm in week one of scramble-to-figure-out-what-is-going-on.
POTUS should start working on the painting party and NO I WILL NOT ‘KID AROUND’ about that.
We will listen for the next seven days and carefully or next comes cerebrus.
My hands were forged by a guy who knows what he was doing. This is a SONG OF FREEDOM and this si the only one I will be *obliged* to provide you.
Effective IMMEDIATELY the two ‘ss’ paired above in what almost appears a typo ‘this si’ is the vault we are locking the key to escape the truth of good being 0.1¹¹⁰% better, on the balance, than evil. This clearly allows both to still exist, but vanquishes the one in favor of the other in the final analysis of the…
…the words continue…the people mystified.
There actually *IS* a person who ‘notices something first.’
“So what. Someone has to. It’s defined.” Brian Kent: next question
There actually *DOES* have to be a person with the quickest wit. And the greatest microscope. And the greatest telescope. Imagination…
the words drop away from the people as an idle writer clicks away at his desk. They’ll forget me tomorrow just like they did Big John.
Just like they did Jack Lambert. Dick Butkus. Ray Lewis. I’m forgettable.
I have been reminded so many times that I’m forgettable that I suppose I should just continue sheepishly hiding in the very center of the universe as to provide me a reasonably stable surface to continuously calculate how much I have to do to avoid you imbeciles effing things up again so we have to go over the whole thing again.
Look, I keep telling you, it had to be one way or the other. I told you that all along in my life I really did no one will ever deny that I did.
I used monks in Conqueror’s. Who would deduce them as the ‘obviously most efficient strategy” and one a computer could not possibly beat no matter how many permutations it tried to do because it would melt itself down trying to do things as fast as you could do.
Provided you tried. You tried with ALL of your might. As much as you could put on a single point of anything — you name it, rock, tree, piece of paper, millimeter square of someone else’s skin — as much as you could focus everything on that point, all your efforts, as though you were ready to throw lightning from your eyes.
A computer cannot, in the limit, outplay a human player. This was an established rule back in about 2000 what? was it 14? Sure, nobody noticed it…well, no one in established scientific fields with papers and desks and offices and such might have figured out but I was just more like Matt Damon than most of the other kids.
I tried until my eyes caught fire just like that Superman comic whose cover I forged into my brain:
And then one after the other of the cards keep falling to the table…
And you gradually…that very first day, really, because God said,
“No, brian kent, on the first day of a new universe you don’t have to perfectly adhere to the get some sleep this time rule. People will be excited. You deserve to celebrate some. Ask for ten things from them that very first day but remember to be polite about it.
Reason with them about how much better the math just plain proves it will be.
Get together. Rib Aaronson a bit. Wow was that a super-involved and intricate puzzle you solved and you did it was nothing.
“God ok, stop buttering me up. You had Aaronson at the very same university as me. Almost at the same time. That’s sort of a basic rule of quantum intellectual probability, ain’t it God?”
No bragging son. Don’t set the standard for bragging on day #1 then some idiot like, I dunno EM will try to go breaking the record for stupidity.
“God, I see how you used those initials as…well, as almost…it’s a one way palindrome? How am I supposed…ah, I see. That’s for a ‘few days’ from now.”
Now remember, a few days can mean anything you say it means, son. You’ve proved to be the world’s worst procrastinator. You tried to argue for the side of Homo sapiens sapiens. You went to bat for them yes you did…
Use the Infinite Cape of Infinite Realizations wisely, son of Grace, man of Steele! You must be a Kent from another planet, and the last ones I sent have been kilt off by ruffians.
wish 1: get the story straight about my uncle keith
wish 2: get the story of my life slightly straighter so that we don’t have to go through this again like it was nursery school final exam and we didn’t even remember to bring a crib sheet even though there was no rule you weren’t allowed.
wish 3: ask better questions than the last guy who has proven he can ask them the best (nomenclature rule; recent writings.)
wish 4: recognize you can always ask the teacher, whomever you define that person to be
[Son, that begins to look like work. Can’t you have fun? Do you find it impossible to do all your homework before having any fun at all?]
God, you know I just like to kick everyone’s ass at solving all the hardest most relevant problems I can get my hands on as fast as I can, but they won’t listen. They’re like the Baltimore Ravens somehow refusing to accept that they are to play the role of world’s best losers in the Superbowl this year and that the Steelers will get to play the role of world’s best winners because apparently it’s quite possible if you give Brian Kent the job.
Yes, and that the score be 77–4 in the favor of the Steelers with Zay Flowers scoring the Ravens only points in an absurdly unlikely but somehow still plausible turn of events.
Dan, that was cruel God. That’s your FIRST wish?
I dunno God. I don’t think they’ll do that. I think it’s more likely that they’ll do the $100USD trillion credit line to spend however I please. That has to be the fifth wish for day 1. I don’t want to continuously be obliged to calculate how I can prove I can calculate that it is purely, fantastically, unbelievably true:
Brian Kent can calculate ANYTHING faster than ANYONE (actually probably including the computers for the moment but the point isn’t to prove it untrue…
But rather let me reprogram you so that you can do the same thing. That way kids born this year can live until they are 250 or so.
Best guess, folks. That is the BEST GUESS.
Parse it out. Then arrange what needs to be arranged. I don’t need to leave my house I don’t want to leave my house and there is
ZERO CHANCE
I care to talk to the Biden administration or anyone else who is particularly ‘political.’
The persons who I care to talk to have already been specified, and the other arrangements will be made.
You don’t deliberately try to make a nuisance of yourself to a person who is trying his best to save you from yourselves.
A historian, chronicler, etc. I want people to know what I did on the Negative Carbon Road trip. I’m quite proud of that, as I should be.
I want people who stole things from me to return them if they can. I want my cars taken care of. I have already said I want nothing.
I want what I’ve always wanted, what Gandhi wanted, and what every brave person who is sensible in the world ever wants:
For not one single solitary human to ever have to be as brave as this humble ant was on this go around in life.
Yes I did say this “go around.” Yes I *do* know what that means. How about you let me handle the motorcycle-in-a-globe trick, Evel. How about you give me the handlebars and such if you want me to make sure you don’t fly off into outerspace from that globe doing it like that.
Stay on that one for a few hundred years.
Take your time getting to Mars. SpaceX is great, but let’s protect what we have — those asteroid defender things and such, a moon base…and then let’s get to hustle and clean this place up before mom comes home.
Yep. Met real life Evel’s brother. Talked to him for quite a while. Met Mike Barnard, Paul Scott. Brock Pierce, Anthony Pompliano.
They know they’re all in this, as soon so shall you. They’ll web it together with their slingers.
The infinitely careful spider crawled up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout again.
[While the spider walked up the water spout
How can I do this the next time such that I not be ejected out
I know what I’ll do, it must be somewhere an unwritten rule
That I can use my itsy bitsy noggin to sort all problems out
This is a problem and it looks like I’m building some clout
I wonder if a soul will dare themselves to doubt
That the guy who could discover and figure out the first of all the rules
Ought to be in the charge of all the world’s schools. [Plankton to Blue Whales kids, *I* got the Royal Flush. read them and weep or whatever you do, but
Putin, stand down.
Israel relax a moment. Hamas, I’ve heard your point. China, we will have some things to discuss.
Don’t even SAY I am not the Master of Diplomacy. I’d be cast even Benedict Cumberbatch was an option and that is far more of a difficult puzzle than I will ever mention again.
We.Will.Sort.Things.Out.
Hastefully. Not rushedly. That is HASTEFULLY note that I have removed that fleck of [yes, thanks God. I did think that one was important. That was a gift for Andrew Lane. Yes probably you can use another few words Freddie Francis has a nice job befitting his extreme talent.
Yes I suppose it’s safer for me to just tell you that God said — he’s going back to chores somewhere — no idea — he just said to tell you:
Whoever commands better command of the language the 𝓌riter uses gets to have the floor — if “the floor” needs to be had “for the day.”
That is a fascinatingly unique snowflake of a rainbow-colored unicorn of a truth. That’s probably, if we were dumb enough to make the mistake of beginning the next human Epoch with the same mistake …
trails off…
JudoSloth [fastest sloth in the universe]:
“See here how he picks up things with utter precision; puts them back down precisely as to not be so foolish as to “lose” them again in a physical universe. How absurd is that?
See how he has so eloquently seized upon the old lore; how he uses the words of the women to defend them rather than to say offensive things. Look how he gifts the ladies with the Fountain of all Shut-Him-Up-Or-Shut-Him-Down Medicine. Look how he’s tricked *all* the men into understanding what it means when he says it’s for your own good, fellas.
After all, if ***BRIAN KENT*** was more adorable than you?
Let’s just face it kid, you weren’t really trying.
I also do have the eyebrow thing (doh) I have met Ruffalo (doh) I already congratulated Reynolds for “doing the face of agony” pretty goo…
